Agree-Disagree Essay - TOEFL example

Below is an example of a TOEFL independent essay. A TOEFL independent essay is an opinion-based essay. For this task, you state your opinion, then support it with examples.

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Prompt: We needs zoos. Do you agree or disagree? Use reasons and examples to support your argument.

Do we or don’t we need zoos? Personally, I agree with the statement. I think that we need zoos. We need zoos because they are educational, they are fun for families and they protect endangered animals.

Zoos are educational. For example, when I was 12, my teacher took us to the zoo in Berlin. I had never seen wild animals before. I had just read about them in books and seen them on the TV. But seeing them in real life was amazing, especially the lions. On TV, they looked so small, but seeing them alive they were really big. By going to the zoo, I definitely saw things in a whole new light.

Zoos are also fun for families. For example, I have a family and we always go to the zoo every summer. My wife makes a picnic and we spend all day there. My kids love taking pictures and learning all about the animals, especially the gorillas. Being outside is good for my children. Best of all, they can leave the internet and the TV at home.

Finally, zoos protect endangered animals. For example, I saw two pandas  in the Washington DC zoo last year and they had a baby. If there were no zoos, the pandas would disappear because we are taking their land away. However, in a zoo the pandas are safe. It is not perfect, but without zoos there might not be any pandas left.

For those reasons, I believe that we need zoos because they are educational, they are fun for families and they protect endangered animals. If you want to have fun and learn something new, you should go to a zoo.

Words: 280          Score: 5/5

Remember: A TOEFL independent essay should be approximately 300 words.

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Click here for an agree-disagree essay.

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Essay with 15 mistakes

Below is the essay with the 15 mistakes corrected - everyone missed interest/internet in paragraph two, line 4.

Internet Piracy - With Mistakes Corrected

It happens every second of every day all over the world. One click and that new song—the one you didn't pay for—is on your iPod. You may think it’s legal. After all, downloading music is fast and easy, right? Think again. It goes without saying that downloading music off the web without paying for it is a cime. (4)

I know. I know. Some will argue that “It’s my democratic right to download music without paying for it." Nonsense. The internet might have started out with the intention of being a democracy but believe me, those days are long gone. The internet these days is about two things: information and money. Big money. One of the biggest money makers on the web is music, and music is protected by law. If you download U2’s latest album, let’s say, and you don’t pay for it, then you are breaking the copyright law that says U2 owns that music. It is their property and you just stole it. If you want to listen to U2, you’ve got to buy it, no ifs, ands or buts. (5)

Also, the artist has a legal right to get paid for his or her work no matter how or where it is downloaded. How would you like it if somebody were stealing your music? This is exactly what Napster was doing. Napster was the first peer-to-peer music sharing site. Musicians, however, took Napster to court for not paying royalties, money owed each time a song was downloaded via Napster. Napster argued that it was just helping friends share music. The courts disagreed. Napster paid a big fine and is now a pay site. (2)

Moreover, illegally downloading music off the web is not a privacy issue. If you break the law by illegally downloading music, you are a criminal. I’m sorry, but you can't have it both ways. You can’t break the law and hide behind the privacy issue. The law is clear. Criminals have no right to privacy. Period. (2)

It bears repeating that downloading music without paying for it is a crime no matter what anyone says about “the freedom of cyberspace.” Just because downloading music is fast and easy doesn’t mean you have the right to steal it. (2)