Before this student took the TOEFL test, she was averaging 3/5 on practice independent essays. Why 3? Because she was trying to say too much in her introductions. She was determined to say something big and important. The result, however, was always a lack of coherence (OPDUL=C). I told her to follow the K.I.S.S. rule (keep it simple stupid) and use the introduction strategies I taught her. She did and got 4-5 on the official independent essay and 4-5 on the official integrated essay, the highest ratings.
WARNING! The hardest part of the independent essay is the introduction. I know. I see this issue all the time in the TOEFL classroom.
Why is the introduction the hardest part of the independent essay to write?
1) Because your brain is warming up and you are nervous; the result is you are not thinking/writing clearly. The result shows up in your introduction, which gets longer and longer and longer.
WARNING! If your introduction is longer than your body paragraphs, you are in trouble.
2) Because you want to say something big and important. Don't. TOEFL is not the place to change the world. Change the world when you go to Harvard. And remember: The raters don't care about your opinion.
3) Test-takers consistently have difficulty transitioning from the beginning of the introduction (hook) to the thesis (opinion). This is the number one introduction writing problem I see. (see introduction problems).
So what should you do? Do what this student did.
1. Start by stating your opinion in one sentence.
2. Develop examples (body paragraphs).
3. Write a conclusion using a Pro conclusion strategy (see conclusion strategies).
4. When your brain is warmed up, go back and write your introduction using a Pro introduction strategy.
5. Follow the K.I.S.S. rule for writing - Keep it simple stupid.
Want to learn more about introduction and conclusions strategies for the independent essay and the integrated essay? It's all in the book.
The Pro
